Hello, how are you? So right up top, I would like to make one thing clear. If you find goofy buddy comedies to be entertaining regardless of the quality of the film, you will enjoy The Hitman’s Bodyguard. But it’s not my job to simply tell you whether or not you will enjoy the film. It’s my job to tell you whether or not it’s a good movie. As far as that is concerned, it is not. At all. Okay, glad we got that out of the way. Now, let’s review.
Alright. You don’t care what the issues with this movie are. You just care if it’s entertaining. At that, it definitely is. But, since I do have to point out the flaws, of which there are many, I am going to do so in rapid-fire succession without elaboration or unnecessary linguistics. So here we are, all of the problems with The Hitman’s Bodyguard in 150 words or less: It shoehorns in two romantic subplots that are ridiculously contrived and ultimately unnecessary. It wants to be as “edgy” as Kingsman or The Nice Guys, but the director just isn’t talented enough to deliver such a product. Selma Hayek has no character whatsoever other than the fact that she uses lots of profane language. Cut her out and the film still works, probably even better. There is no chemistry between Ryan Reynolds and Elodie Yung. None. The villains are absurd and feel like they popped out of a terrible action movie made 30 years ago. Gary Oldman is…something. The screenplay tries to flirt with deeper meaning at times but ultimately feels hokey in these moments and almost insulting to the audience. The last ten or fifteen minutes are dramatically terrible and belong in a crappy ripoff of The Bourne Trilogy.
BUT-all of that being said-the chemistry between Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson is operating at a perfect level. Even though neither of them are even trying to deliver anything other than their public personas, it works, as that’s exactly what you paid for. If the movie were to remove everything other than the classic Buddy picture moments, it might actually be a genuinely good film. It’s just bogged down by the rest of its shortcomings. The action sequences are actually pretty well directed, particularly a zany chase scene in the last act of the film. Like I said before, if you want a simple, entertaining action comedy starring two face value actors, you’re going to get that. Just turn off your analytical brain for two hours, ignore the ridiculous logic of the film, munch some popcorn and enjoy yourself. Just don’t go begging for a sequel.
All images are from The Hitman’s Bodyguard, a film by Lionsgate